Cold Heart Read online

  Estelle didn’t believe in ghosts. She’d never seen one or had any kind of supernatural experiences. Not until that very moment that is. She knew she was hallucinating. Probably a mix of her raging thoughts and emotions combined with the recent alcohol flowing through her system and, of course, her unwavering tiredness.

  Her blood chilled. Her entire body froze. She continued to stare at the little girl. Unable to blink or take her eyes away from her.

  The ghostly pale girl, Gayle, just stood there in a ghastly silence. Neither blinking nor breathing. She resembled some life like stone statue with her hollow eyes solely transfixed upon her big, older sister.

  “Estelle?” Nathan impatiently interrupted. “Did you hear what I just said? You have to come back, right away—no questions—before you’re exposed further. Before we’re exposed further…”

  “I’m sorry, sir… But I don’t think I can do that sir.” Estelle faintly replied. She didn’t believe she’d actually spoken the words out loud. She thought they’d just been softly spoken inside her mind. But based on Nathan’s next response, yes, she’d definitely uttered them.

  “Estelle. If you don’t come back tonight, right this very second, then there will be consequences. Please. You’re acting on your emotions. You’re irrational. After all your training. After all these years, I thought we taught you better.”

  “I’m so sorry, sir...” was all Estelle could mutter, still unable to take her eyes away from the ghostly vision of Gayle at the foot of her bed. She heard Nathan let out a deep, weary sigh. It was almost deafening in her ears. He wouldn’t argue any further. He wouldn’t get upset. His words were final. Estelle knew what she was in for if she disobeyed, or did she? Nobody disobeyed her employers. It was absolutely unheard of. So, could she really know?

  “You were always my favorite, Estelle, I’ll give you that much.”

  Those were Nathan’s last words before he abruptly hung up the phone. The word—were—should have slithered the fear of God right through her ice-cold veins. But it didn’t. She felt somewhat content and at peace, regardless of the consequences that would most likely come her way from disobeying a direct order. But in that moment, she didn’t care. Nothing else but Gayle mattered to her in the moment. She didn’t care if they unleashed their worst. Killed her and her family and erased them from history all together.

  But of course, that was just her emotions talking… or was it?

  Staring hard at her sister she felt that cold dead feeling washing over her again. That same dead feeling that haunted her body, mind, and soul when she’d lost all hope of life and wandered out into the middle of that busy motorway to end her life all those years ago.

  She knew she had to see this through for her sister’s sake. Right through until the final bitter end. Regardless of the consequences to both her and her family. There was no other alternative in her mind. That’s all that mattered to her now. She owed her sister that much. And at the very least, she owed her sister her own life.

  Chapter 14

  Estelle sat opposite a desktop computer screen inside a quiet and hidden little internet café just around the corner from Queen Street station. She’d logged into a fake Facebook account that she’d set up years ago. She wasn’t too sure if her employers knew about her supposedly secret social media pages - More than likely they did - yet had never pulled her up or mentioned it. But she didn’t care. She hardly ever logged into it anyhow. It was only sparingly used to keep in touch with less than half a dozen people in her life, but somewhat useful people who’d she’d met and worked with on some of her past missions over the years. And of course, knew, in the back of her mind, that they might possibly come in useful to her one day.

  This was one of those days.

  Estelle searched through her short, hidden list of friends. Three names down she clicked upon one Tommy Sinclair. An English man and computer hacker/analyst she’d played out a mission with seven years previous back in Morocco. They’d been holed up in Rabbit together in the same apartment for a whole damn month while they infiltrated a shady bank firm with dealings in the black market and terrorism.

  Tommy was a tall, handsome, and confident man. His only downfall being that he was more often than not far too cocky and bold for his own good. So never the type Estelle would ever go for. But living in close quarters with someone of the opposite sex for such a long period of time, something had to give, and so they’d engaged in a brief fling.

  No-strings sex, most nights, just to satisfy their brewing urges and bubbling needs and the endless boredom of just hanging around, waiting for something to happen. The fling had meant nothing to Estelle. Well, perhaps on a somewhat basic and physical animalistic level it had, but certainly not on an emotional one. She’d been married for just over a year at the time and was keen to take her allocated time off right after that very mission to begin starting her new family.

  The sex was good though. The best she’d ever had, in fact, but would never openly admit that fact to anyone out loud, especially Tommy. She knew instinctively that the cocky, confident, fun bad-boy vibe that radiated from him like a bad smell of unflushed shit was a sure sign of a good time. But an absolutely awful sign on the longer-term spectrum of anything remotely serious.

  Tommy was a popular and handsome man after all and a freak of nature in the bedroom department. So, no matter what kind of special lady he met and wanted to keep around, he’d always be wired with that inability to keep his dick securely tucked up in his pants the moment the next sniff of available feminine sexual opportunity presented itself. The man was born a cheating alpha-male bastard. And nothing and no one would ever change someone like him.

  Tommy had an addictive personality though. Especially regarding things that he couldn’t get. And what had started out as nothing more than a bit of fun and tickle to pass the time, by the end of the month had swiftly reeled him in, hook, line, and sinker. More than likely due to the fact that Estelle never really had that needy, insecure demeanor about her immediately after sex. She would always be the one to get out of bed first and leave or reject a short little cuddle and pillow chitchat right after the deed.

  Tommy had never known a girl quite like her before. So cold, so aloof. So emotionally unavailable. Exactly like him when it came to the countless other women he’d discarded away in his life like pieces of rubbish once he’d finally gotten everything that he’d needed from them. Only, Estelle was cold and aloof with everyone though. She didn’t discriminate between the sexes for that. She had well and truly reversed the charges on this particular international phone call.

  And so, Tommy found himself always being the one to ask for that quick kiss and cuddle in the kitchen, or asking where Estelle was off to in the middle of the night right after they’d finished their intimate fun. Which was usually straight back to her own bedroom to get some peace and quiet and a good night’s sleep and bathe in her own solitude.

  Even Tommy’s cocky funny comments while teasing her immensely that they could just up and leave their current partners and hole themselves up in the Maldives together for a few months, went completely over Estelle’s head. She did not care about Tommy one jot. She just used him for sex. Nothing more. Nothing less. To attend to her natural animalistic needs and desires, and that’s exactly what reeled the poor sucker in even harder. Harder than he’d ever been reeled in before.

  Of course, she knew very well that just as soon as she did ever return his warm feelings and affectionate advances, which was never going to happen, that it would only be a matter of time before he’d tire of her anyway and the biological chemicals would swiftly wear off. Such was the nature of the love beast. And like clockwork, Tommy would be out and about seductively seeking his next new playmate and sexual adventure fix. She knew of his history and the type of man he really was even before she’d laid eyes on him. She’d heard all about his reputation long before that.

  Estelle hesitated as she hovered her fingers over the dirty keyboard. Did she
really want to go through with this? They’d had no contact for three years. Not since Tommy was based down in London for a few months and had sent her a couple of random messages, seeing if she was available to hook up again, but Estelle had just ignored him. Her daughter Clara was already three years of age by then and Estelle herself, was in a good place regarding her family life.

  She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

  Was he really the only person she could trust in that moment to get her the information she so desperately needed and at such short notice?

  She believed he was.

  Plus, he was only an hour away in Edinburgh. She knew she’d probably have to give him something physical in return. Something that he needed. But to her, it wasn’t a big deal. As long as he could give her what she wanted and that night then she would do whatever needed to be done.

  Estelle sent the message.

  “Can you meet tonight?”

  She considered walking over to the nearby McDonald’s and grabbing a quick coffee and bite before coming back to check her messages. But it took less than a minute for Tommy to respond. So typical of sex addicts.

  “Hey. How the hell are you? Yes, of course? You’re in Edinburgh???”

  “I will be in one hour.” Estelle typed back. “Pick me up outside Haymarket station.”

  “Okay. Will do. See you there. :)” he typed right back, even using one of those stupid smiling faces that Estelle loathed with a passion.

  Estelle swiftly logged out and made her way around the next alleyway corner, heading straight into Queen Street station. There were express trains leaving every fifteen minutes to the capital right up until after midnight, and she bought a ticket for the very next train to depart in four minutes time.

  ***

  Estelle sat at a window seat as the train sped through the pitch-black Scottish countryside from west to east. The carriage was almost empty on the late-evening train ride, and with a little time to herself she began to remember more from her adolescence. More from her dark, painful past that she truly wished to forget.

  The young Estelle was only a few months into her juvenile prison sentence for murdering her stepfather and also causing severe damage and multiple injuries to countless other people and vehicles back on that motorway where she’d tried to end her life by sitting herself down in the very center lane of the oncoming traffic.

  She’d tried her best to keep her head down in the detention center and herself well out of trouble. She didn’t even have any friends inside and she certainly didn’t wish to make any either. Because of her slim, pretty frame and antisocial demeanor and because no one at the prison was aware of her previous street reputation, she was always going to be a target for the big alpha bully girls of her ward.

  Estelle remembered one bulky mountain freak of a teenage girl who always tried to stare her out and intimidate her throughout her first few months inside. She couldn’t remember the bitch’s name, but she could remember how wide-shouldered and ugly she looked with one eye bigger than the other, slash marks down both sides of her face and every second tooth in her gobshite mouth missing or broken.

  One day, the big badass girl mountain had finally had enough of Estelle never returning her sneers and prolonged glances and ignoring her like she didn’t even exist. So, she’d stood up in the middle of the prison canteen, stomped her way on over towards the single corner table hidden in the shadows where Estelle always sat quietly, eating her food and minding her own damn business. The big hulking girl then leaned right over Estelle and her half-eaten dinner plate, sneering directly into her face. Still Estelle said nothing and quietly continued to chew her food looking completely and utterly oblivious to anyone and anything around her.

  “You’re in my seat, bitch,” the big bully finally spat at her.

  Estelle remained eerily quiet and continued to eat like she hadn’t heard or seen a damn thing. She told herself that she would do nothing, say nothing, and start nothing, unless the big Shrek looking bitch started physically touching her where she sat. Then it would be every girl for herself.

  She didn’t have long to wait.

  The teenage monster girl became even more aggressive and shoved Estelle hard, almost pushing her right off her steel chair. She grabbed a hold of Estelle’s wrist too and proceeded to drag her up onto her feet.

  “I said, you’re in my fucking seat, you skinny punk bitch!”

  The moment she yanked on Estelle’s arm, Estelle snapped the handle of the plastic knife she’d been using to cut her food, making it jagged and sharp at the handle’s end. In a heartbeat, she swiftly stabbed the girl straight through the top of her free right hand while it rested upon the table.

  The girl howled in pain, revealing the ugly mess of broken teeth inside her hideous gob. Estelle didn’t waste another second. She snapped her pudding spoon next, also making it sharp and viciously jagged at the handle end, before stabbing it straight into the girl’s eyeball as hard and as deep as she possibly could. Blood and puss splattered everywhere like a burst tomato all down her face and prison shirt.

  Estelle immediately jumped on top of the hysterical girl, knocking and wrestling her onto the cold, hard prison floor before pounding her face and chest over and over again with her flying, raging fists. A few seconds later she was dragged away by the prison guards, all arriving in a mad dash of rage and fear, one after the other. Two, three, then four wasn’t going to cut it here though. And the raging bull that was Estelle fought her way easily from the grasps of the guards with her furious strength, flying kicks, and ferocious punches until she was back kicking and pounding right on top of the out-for-the-count Hulk girl again.

  Six prison guards in total were finally the magic number needed to physically restrain Estelle and drag her away from the unrecognizable teenage girl who later died of her injuries while on route to the nearest hospital.

  For the next few months Estelle was locked up inside her own solitary confinement cell way down in the dark bowels of the prison basement. She wasn’t allowed to have lunch with the other juvenile prisoners again after the brutal incident.

  She ate alone. She exercised in the yard alone. And she showered alone, but never in the prisoner’s showers. It was always outside, up against the brick walls of the prison bin shed and hosed down with freezing cold water like some dirty stray dog. The same freezing water used to wash away the dripping stench of rotten rubbish from the foul-smelling prison bins after they’d been emptied for the week. And always under the watchful eye of a couple of cheerful and laughing prison guards. Male and female.

  That was when she’d first noticed him.

  One superior guard out of the many who never spoke, never showed any emotion, and always stood coolly back and away from the others as he smoked his cigarettes. He was always watching though. Always watching and observing every little thing that she did. In fact, the first thing she ever noticed about him was a small little tattoo of a black bird with its little wings spread wide right upon the fleshy side of his wrist.

  Chapter 15

  Tommy waited patiently for Estelle inside his black BMW right outside Haymarket station. He was getting looks of hate from some of the late-night commuters still walking to and from the station as he parked right up onto one of six nearby empty, disabled parking bays. But that was the kind of cocky narcissist Tommy was at his heart’s core. He didn’t give a shit about anyone but himself and his own selfish needs. If there was an empty parent and toddler bay or free disabled parking space at the front of his local supermarket, then he’d take that in a heartbeat too. Or better yet, he’d park in two spaces, just to stop any other nearby cars parking so close to his gleaming BMW and causing any accidental light scratches to his pride and joy.

  Tommy watched Estelle exit the glass doors of the small quiet station and flashed his lights twice. Estelle noticed the lights the first time and walked directly towards him. She didn’t wave, smile, or say a damn word. She just climbed straight inside his car.r />
  “Well, hello there, gorgeous. Long time no fucking see.” Tommy stated with a seductive smirk.

  Estelle slowly turned to face him without even raising a smile in return and gently placed her hand upon his thigh.

  “Let’s get this part over and done with then, shall we?”

  Tommy looked a little stunned at Estelle’s brutal forwardness, but he got over it in the blink of an eye as their passionate, raw, and erotic exploits back in Morocco all those years ago swiftly came flooding back to haunt him. Tommy gently nodded his head and grinned even wider. Without any further questions he started the car and drove away.

  Within five minutes they’d parked into a dark and secluded old town alleyway, right beside a dreary old cemetery. Tommy’s car rocked vigorously back and forth from the outside as he and Estelle performed fast and frantic sex on each other in the back seat of his tinted-windowed BMW.

  They started with Estelle sitting astride Tommy and riding him hard upon his lap. She just wanted to get the act over and done with so they could get down to her own personal, nitty-gritty business. And she had trained ways of doing just that too. So, she pretended to be into it, trying to look like she was having a good time and even moaning in the right places and at just the right amount of deep, penetrative thrusts. Stroking Tommy’s over-inflated sexual ego and making him feel like the big man.

  But Tommy knew all of Estelle’s tricks too and wanted to change things up a bit and at his own pace. To finish, he desperately wanted to take Estelle from behind. He towered over her. But it wasn’t a position she was particularly fond off. It made her feel vulnerable and somewhat submissive. Which were traits that she did not possess. But if it would get Tommy’s rocks off sooner rather than later, then she’d do whatever it took to make that happen.